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Jeffrey Vallance

The Extrasensory Blinky Flower Experience
Jeffrey Vallance

Vernissage: Blinky the Friendly Hen 30th Anniversary Exhibition
Track 16 Gallery, Santa Monica, CA; March 8, 2007.

Blinky ESP

On March 8, 2007 at the opening of the 30th Anniversary exhibition at Track 16 Gallery in Santa Monica, California, I was sitting at a folding table signing copies of the new Blinky book. On the table was a lovely flower arrangement, which I assumed was placed there courtesy of the gallery. A gallerygoer asked me if someone had sent the flowers. I said that I did not know. He then noticed that there was a card attached to the flowers, in a small envelope addressed to Blinky Vallance. As he reached for the card, he asked, “Have you read what it says?” I had not, but, in jest, I blurted out, “Thanks for dying for my consumption.” The man opened the envelope and looked at the card. He appeared perplexed. He looked me in the eye and said, “You’re joking, right?” And he handed the card to me. This is what it said:

“Thanks for dying for my consumption.
I will forever love you, Blinky.”

Yours in Christ,
Reverend Ethan Acres

I said, “What the hell?!” I had no idea that Rev. Acres, a good friend of mine, had sent the flowers. I hadn’t taken the time to look at the card, so I had absolutely no clue as to the inscription. This seems to happen every now and then — I reply to a question with a joke that inadvertently answers it correctly. On the occasion — the 30th anniversary of Blinky’s funeral — the good Reverend’s “psychic” message made the celebration seem particularly spiritual, completing the event and making everything appear right with the world for that moment.